Trashy Food I Have Loved: Part I

It was ninety degrees today in northern West Virginia. And humid. Very humid. And it's supposed to be ninety five tomorrow. Melissa, I demand you take back this Louisiana weather. It is highly unnatural here in the hill country. All of the bearded men look extremely uncomfortable and none of the women are prepared for shorts.

But . . . the sultry weather is perfect for the first recipe in our Trashy Recipe series. This recipe is cool, refreshing, and tooth-achingly sweet. Mmmmm. Perfect for unseasonably warm early-June weather.

I copied this recipe onto an index card several years ago, I believe out of Fanny Flagg's Recipes from the Whistlestop Cafe. But I could be wrong. I often am.

So What exactly makes this recipe trashy? Well, the inclusion of a few key ingredients tipped the scales for me: sweetened condensed milk, frozen lemonade concentrate, and Cool Whip. I really don't need any more convincing.

Lemon Ice-Box Pie

-one pre-made graham cracker pie crust
-one 8 oz. box cream cheese (you can go for low fat here if you want to slightly lower the trash level), softened
-one 14 oz. can sweetened condensed milk
-one 6 oz. can frozen lemonade concentrate, thawed
-one tub of Cool Whip

Beat the crap out your cream cheese till it's fluffy. This make take a few minutes, but patience will make a big difference in the final product. Once your cream cheese is fluffy as a little panda bear, gradually add the milk and lemonade concentrate. Once everything is well combined, fold in half of the tub of Cool Whip, then dump it all into the pie crust. At this point I like to stick it in the freezer for a few minutes to firm up. Relax, drink a beer, bleach your hair, whatever, then spread the remaining Cool Whip on the pie. Stick it in the fridge for a few hours and there you go. Easy, tasty, and above all, trashy.